• J.S.

How to stop obsessing about your ex after break up

Updated: May 17, 2020

What will happen if you overthink your ex? Do they deserve this? It's quite normal to think of your ex especially right after the breakup but at least give a specific time and never overthink or stop obsessing over him or her cos it might not be good.

When a person is obsessed with their ex after break up, they encounter excessive persistent thoughts or images that may intensify to the point of compulsion.

I was a victim of obsession with my ex and it really sucks.

There are signs and symptoms of obsession:

1. You feel confused, anxious and desperate

2. You cannot talk about anything else but just him or her

3. You fantasize him or her

4. You neglect important parts of your life

5. You neglect your friend and family

6. You cannot focus, eat and sleep

7. You say inappropriate things

Obsessive thoughts about your ex are a very painful experience. It will bring no good.

Here are the tips on how to stop obsession:

1. Delete all of their contact information. You have to delete all her or his contact numbers, unfriend them on Facebook, unfollow on Instagram, and other forms of social media. So that when you are tempted to get in touch and I am sure you will do, you have no way because you already cut all communications.

Contacting your ex may temporarily relieve the pain that we suffer but it will just make us hard to accept the reality at the end. Cutting all forms of communication is the best way also so that your ex cannot send you any messages or dramas when he or she is finding it hard to move on.

2. Acceptance. This very helpful in moving on. Once you accept the reality that you are not meant with each other, there is no obsession that will happen. Accept that it's over and you are only responsible for yourself now.

You can also accept that you are obsessed with your ex and admit that to yourself and speak to your heart when doing so.

5. If only. It is always being said by people who are desperate to be back together. It is often experienced by obsessive lovers after a breakup thinking that the pain and grief will be induced.

For example: If only I didn’t cheat, we still be together again

If only I gave more and exert more effort.

6. Go out and meet new friends. This could help a lot because your mind will not focus just on him or her. This doesn’t mean you are jumping into another relationship. You are just finding friends to talk or hang out with in order to at least ease the pain that you have.

You need to surround yourself with potentials and start moving on.

8. Hit the gym. Exert more effort in order to make a new you. Going to the gym will not only make you physically fit but including also your mental fitness. Slowly but surely your thinking will change and soon you will realize that you deserve even better.

9. Always remind yourself that this is already real. Sometimes you need also to remind yourself in order for you to awaken that what is happening is not a temporary split.

Close your door to your past because that is the only way you can open someone for your future.

10. Burn everything that will remind you of your ex. This is very important cos this can lessen your dramatic emotion. At least if you will burn or throw his or her things, it will help you to move on.

When you get rid of the items he gave you, then you are one step closer to acceptance.

Obsession could never help you. Instead, it will destroy you.

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