• J.S.

Ending the cycle of break up

Everyone of us is aiming for a long, strong, and happy relationship and we are always working for that. Some couples are doing their best just to keep their relationship while others are just giving up for some reason.


For many the impact of letting go is so painful that is why they are trying so hard in order for them to be together again. They are struggling with the effect of break up and almost give up when they are already alone in life.


When partners are still together they feel desperate to keep things okay, they always argue to some small things but when they are not together, they feel alone, abandoned, and almost experience depression.


I am always telling to you in my previous article that before you decide, you have to think for how many times because we have always to bear in our mind that breakups are huge obstacles to overcome.


Here are some ideas on how you could stop the cycle of breakups.


First, you have to make an agreement. Break up is the last option that we have when both of us are not happy with our relationship anymore. It's so hard to overcome a breakup and you will be lying if you tell that you will be fine if your partner broke up with you.


In a relationship, you cannot avoid fights but you can come to an agreement on how to argue best. For example, if your partner needs some space and you want to talk already about the issue, try to meet up in the middle. Don’t just consider your decision.


Fighting is normal to a relationship however its important that everyone is being heard and that means addressing both you and your partner’s fighting style.

Second is having boundaries. Putting boundaries is an act of respect for yourself. We may feel that boundaries in a relationship are not necessary because our partner is supposed to already know and act on our needs and wants or they ruin the relationship or interfere with the spice.


A relationship cannot be healthy until both partners communicate their boundaries clearly and the other person respects them.

The third one is that, try to list down the troubles that you encounter in your relationship. Every time you had a conflict with your partner, make a journal and write about the event, the feelings, and the effort you made on how to solve it. Check and read it from time to time. You will see a pattern of same issues triggering the same sets of negative feelings with no real solutions.


Next time when you experience a breakup, re-read your journal and you can already find ways on how can solve the same problem that you have.

The fourth one is to fight smarter. It's not easy to argue especially with your partner because it will lead always to negative results. And when you improve yourself on how to fight each other, your relationship will improve too.


Don’t address him or her directly when you fight because this always causes a big fight.

The fifth is don't break up. Make a promise to your partner that you will never use break up as a weapon. It's okay if you need a few days apart in order to think and smell fresh air but try to resolve problems especially if it is just a small problem. Break up is not always a solution.

Sixth is always be cool. When your mind is fresh, and you are not easily angry there is a high possibility that you can always resolve your problem. Fights start when you didn’t listen and you start yelling. Be more patient. If you need to leave the room, leave the room. Never shout when someone is angry. Do the give and take.

Upon reading this article I know that you will be awakened on how you will keep your relationships. It is not easy but if you will for it, you can do it. Every effort is worth it.

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